Thank you, George W. Bush, for using every dirty trick and cheat at your disposal to win the election in 2000.

Thank you for spending your first year on vacation and ignoring warnings about incoming terrorist attacks.

Thank you for using 9/11 to whip Americans into a frenzy of fear and misplaced patriotism, and setting yourself up as some kind of cowboy hero.

Thank you for wasting chunks of the federal budget on a useless Department of Homeland Security and a stupid color-coded chart designed to frighten us into obedience.

Thank you for twisting the truth and flat-out lying to a point that more than 60% of Americans supported an invasion of Iraq, and helping provoke the blind fanaticism that left the other 40% of us increasingly ostracized from our neighbors.

Thank you for sending so very many American kids to die or be dismembered over some petty grudge and Dick Cheney's bank account.

Thank you for authorizing torture and utterly destroying any moral high ground we may have had in the "war on terror."

Thank you for taking a legitimate war hero and, with Karl Rove's help, using blatant lies and ugly smears to forever ruin him in America's eyes.

Thank you for failing to respond to Hurricane Katrina and the destruction of New Orleans. And thank you for still not trying to rebuild the place.

Thank you for doing nearly the same thing just two years later with Ike.

Thank you for instituting illegal wiretapping, further stripping us of our basic human rights and dignities.

Thank you for costing us the respect of the world and utterly wasting the goodwill we engendered after the terrorist attacks.

Thank you for not choking on that pretzel.

And thank you, sincerely, for earning so well the title of "Worst President in the History of the United States." It's not as if anyone really remembers why Harding sucked, anyway.

With any luck, we'll never see you again...at least, until they try you for war crimes under the Geneva Convention.