President Bush, you were my commander-in-chief for eight long years. In that time, you had me respond to a wars abroad and crises at home. I’ve had to kiss my wife and daughter and say goodbye to them one too many times as I deployed to those conflicts. Now, I get to say goodbye to you – and as I do, I wonder how you will be judged as a Commander-in-Chief.

Dear President Bush,

I spent over half of your presidency living abroad. Playing the role of The American as I went through high school, college and then into the work force was a unique experience. See, a lot of people don’t like us: our greed and selfishness, our sense of 'exceptionalism', our ignorance and especially our president. Because I was The American, I have always been pressed to defend my country, which was easy, as well as your decisions and your personal shortcomings. This particular task only got harder as the years went by.

Dear georgie,

I have a bucket and shovel for you. Stop by to pick it up and you can start your new retirement activity: Go to all the places we've invaded and start scooping up all the depleted uranium shells you scattered across the countryside.
You won't need any protective clothing any more than the people you targeted did.
It should keep you busy for several centuries. And it might redeem your legacy by a few iotae.